3rd.

So it has been getting a lot harder since school has started keeping up with everything, and trying to stay positive and keeping a smile on my face. I have gotten more distant with my mom and I barely talk to my dad anymore, he pretty much hates me. I do not talk to any of my family anymore. My mom and I were doing really good over the summer to a degree, we fought, but I was really close with her, closer then I have been with her, but lately we have become so distant and so hard to understand of one another it is really hard to even say anything to her anymore. This time of year with does not help trying to deal with my depression, because around this time, I just get so upset, sad, and really depressed. I do not know what it is about this time of year. The days are getting harder, but I am still trying.

The journal I was doing has not helped much with everything. I have opened up to more people though and have been talking to more and more people about what is going on. School has been stressful which does not help all to much, but I will say I am learning more and more how to like not let everything get to me so much, and it has helped and me knowing when I need help and when to get it is a good thing. I used to bottle everything up, and just never talk to anyone, and take it out on myself. Lately that has not happened to much, I have been a lot better about it all. I feel better about myself, and the goals I have set I am getting there. Slowly but surely I am getting there.

Lately music has been my escape. I listen to it 24/7 and just when I listen to it I will drawl or I will write, I just get lost in what I am doing, I tune everything and everyone out. I feel so good about myself and I am actually happy, and doing something healthy, not just anything to escape. It seems like since I have turned away from all my old friends and have been trying harder, I have been a little more happy. It is just hard with everything going on with my mom. I really hope it gets better in time.