Well ever since I herd about the project for AP Language Arts, I've been bouncing back and fourth on what I want to do. I wanted to make this project something that I could feel very accomplished with and have it more personal then just a grade and a project.
For the last couple years I have had some trouble opening up to my family, shutting them out and sharing what is wrong and have hard times dealing with depression. A majority of my depression is because I'm not happy with myself, and am stuck. So I want to work on opening up to people, asking for help when I need it, and not shutting people out. I've always wanted to do this, but I never could stay committed to keeping it up. So I think with having to do this for school the school project will really help me be able to stay committed to doing so.
I think it is going to be a very big challenge for me, because I can never stay committed to doing something I really want to do, and because I've tried to open up and deal with my depression for quite some time now and I get stuck and when it gets hard I just quit. I do that because I hate change, so it will be interesting to see how good this will turn out.
The ways I plan on doing this is when there is something wrong, I'm not going to just sit in my room or with people and pretend everything is fine. I plan on writing in a journal at least once a day, or draw the highlight of my day, or something to start showing myself what is wrong and being true to myself on how I feel instead of the mask I put on for everyone and myself. After I get used to that, I wanna start getting closer with someone about everything, and not just saying I'm fine. So when I need to talk, I can turn to someone and get the help I really want. If I can do that I know that it will make me a lot happier and I can hopefully not be as depressed and more open about things and have better relationships with people.
I have the hardest time with commitment so I know this project will help me be a better person, and make me a lot happier.
Amber,
ReplyDeleteThis really sounds like it'll be a big help, both to you and your family, if you can stick with it. Obviously, it's not easy to make a change like this because you're changing how you act, but I'll be here if you get stuck. I've gone through a very similar situation, so if you want my help, just let me know. :)
Sincerely,
Staicee
Amber,
ReplyDeleteThis is amazing! I understand where you're coming with this. It can be so scary. Falling back into old habits is always easier at the beginning. Fight it girl! :) After that hump, it gets so much easier. Hah, I should try this. I'm with Staicee, if you need help, tell me :)
Love,
Hannah Long
Awh thanks you guy's :)
ReplyDelete& I'll keep that in mind.
Thanks again for the support.